Be warned: I have a toddler.



Our house is like the Bermuda Triangle at the moment: if I put things down they might not be there when I return, appliances turn on without me in the room and stuff appears that I haven’t seen for months.


Not because I'm losing my faculties (not that I’m aware of anyway) but because I have... a toddler.


Like everyone his age, Jude has a very clear idea of where things in the house ought to be. And it’s not where they currently are. Hairbrushes belong in the bin, remote controls under the bed, keys should be in the washing machine...


Jude’s current obsession is toothbrushes. Not his of course (he won’t touch that) but everyone else’s, mine in particular - I’ve found it in all kinds of unhygienic places and the last thing I need each morning is a hunt round the house for it.


Last year the boys were late into school because we couldn’t find one of Gabriel’s school shoes. I looked high and low for it - in the dustbin, down the toilet, in wardrobes...


Eventually I gave up and Gabriel went to school in trainers. It sounded rather lame when I said Jude had hidden it. Thankfully I found his shoe in the garden that afternoon.


I used to be quite an efficient, timely person pre-kids so if I’m late when we arrange to meet please forgive me... I’m probably stuck at home looking for my keys and toothbrush.

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© 2019 about these boys

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